The Weirdest Gig of My Whole Entire Life.

September 12, 2005

We flew out from Burlington to do a one-off at Denison College in Ohio.

They offered me a SHITLOAD of dough to do it. So, Pete and Chuck and I flew out mid-tour to do it as a little duo date. Sounded fun, I hadn’t done a duo show with Pete before, and why not pay the rent? Touring in a bus is fucking expensive, man.
So. We get there. It’s some kind of welcome-back-to-school mixer. They’re holding it on top of a parking garage, which is covered with grass. Our little stage is on one end, and on the other side there were rides and inflatable something-or-others; a spin-the-bike-upside-down jammy, and an inflatable obstacle course, an inflatable stick-battle rock ‘em sock ‘em thing.
Our opening act was an escape artist. We watched from the window of our dressing room as he removed himself from chains, sacks, and straitjackets. They served a WRETCHED Chinese buffet. I mean, it was bizarrely horrible. Cee-Huck said it was kind of like a Midwestern Mom attempting Chinese cuisine, but I feel that’s a horrible insult to Midwestern Moms.
OK. So. There was NOBODY WATCHING. Well, OK; three people. Literally. Sitting on the grass looking at us. Everybody else was in the back on the inflatable jammies and the bike ride. Like, two or three hundred of ‘em. We finished the first song and there was no applause. It was surreal.
The crowd peaked at eight people, some of whom danced goofily for our amusement. Eventually the sun went down, and the ride-riders went home, and it was just us and our eight friends. Bright side: SO much fun to rock it with Pete. I adore Pete. And we sold two CDs. Yeah.