Xing Your Nuts Off.

November 1, 2004

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I was horking songs off a friend’s iPod and came across a dreadful artifact:


I guess it’s pretty widely distributed: an mp3 of me performing with the Dave Matthews at Madison Square Garden. I haven’t listened to it yet. I’m scared to hear it. Because at the time, I was crazy high on E and completely out of my head.
Soul Coughing was opening for him. It was a two-night stand, and I guested both nights: one night I was a maniac on E, the other night I was baked on weed. I know this is the E night, this mp3, because I was told a couple details of the performance that I don’t have the guts to get into here.
I had all these E’s I had gotten in the UK, where I was living at the time. There was a legendary MDMA drought going on over there. These were the only good E’s in Britain, I think: every time I was high in a club, streams of people would come up to me, astonished, and begging to know: WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR PILLS?!
I put the pill in a plastic cup and had it onstage while we played our set. Before the third-to-last song, I went back to my amp, gulped the pill, and finished the show. By the time I was walking offstage, I was coming up.
Our product manager from Warner Bros. was in the dressing room when I came offstage. I had to talk to him for awhile and pretend to not be high. That was excruciating.
So I did the guest spot with Dave, out of my fucking skull.
I haven’t touched a pill, or anything else, since 2000. And of course, the prospect of this recording out there in general circulation fills me with dread and loathing.
I saw Dave at Bonnaroo this year; I bumped into his wife around the tents backstage, and she invited me back for a post-show get together. In the course of the conversation, I remarked that at the time I was opening for him I was abstaining from alcohol.
Dave said, “Yeah, but half the time you were XING YOUR NUTS OFF.”